Wow, so much has happened in the past week that it's tough to explain in a chronological order. For starters, me and Heather are no longer dating. Many reasons for this, including trust issues. distance, and independence. I do feel though that either A. She met someone B. She did something negative to our relationship and couldn't continue dating me with what she's done or C. She wants to explore single life and mess around with people. All these parallel the typical experiences a girl has in college, I just thought she was beyond that. Regardless, after 2 days of not talking and a mild argument, we're done. It's sad.. Mostly because I saw lots of potential for us. I feel as if she might view me as "the one she let get away", or maybe not.
She said all these things like,
"I don't want to live in Toledo"
"I wish we would've traveled last summer together"
"I would love to be closer to my sister" (who will be in San Fran, 35 dollar train ride away)
etc.
Well, with me moving to Seattle (explained further down), I wanted to give her these things and I want her to come with me. Maybe in May I'll write her a letter, with a train ticket saying the opportunities here. Maybe I won't. I do appreciate you sticking with me through thick and thin Heather, it's just upsetting that your words don't have substance and our bond wasn't strong enough to endure.
But her priorities are in Podunk, Ohio, and I'll let her have that.
(Insert bad transition statement here), I'm moving to Seattle at the beginning of February. It's really sad actually. For starters I've finally felt a sense of belonging with my family and now I'm pushing it aside. Or maybe that's the entire point of being close to your family, for them to help improve yourself and change the world. Regardless they have. Jeannie for the 1,338,289,995 things you've done for me. The money you've paid, the solace you've brought. Thank you, I love you. Krissie, with your recent emergence, the driver's test, the sweet lunch that afternoon =), and the girls.. thanks for being there for my lowest of lows. Steve, the football camaraderie, the numerous times I've been stuck in a corner of Ohio and you've gotten me, the dishes, the computer. Thanks for letting down your machismo and being cool. ;). I'm still going to whoop your ass in Risk, and even if I'm not in town.. I plan on fully participating in the league next season. How else are you going to win anything?
So, back to Seattle.. after the smoke cleared with Heather I called Mark and Kris with my intentions on working with them. The response they gave me was truly overwhelming. They were nothing less than excited, jubilant, and forthcoming in making sure that I'd be taken care of. I really want to do well for them, nothing less will be acceptable. The date seems to be early February, which will be perfect. It gives me time to seek out my long lost half brother, speak with mom, and tie up some loose ends here.
I don't want anyone to view this as an end with me, I want it viewed as a beginning. I intend on obtaining webcams for each sibling and speaking with them online while away. Jeannie, ya gotta upgrade that dial up, it'd be the same price ;).
All in all my mood is bittersweet (as Jeff puts it). At times I just want to cry at the sudden changes (and I have), other times I'm nervous and ready to embrace the unknown. I just want everyone to know that I love them dearly, and will never, EVER be forgotten
Johnny
Sunday, January 13, 2008
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3 comments:
Johnny,
Mark and I are so grateful that you are willing to make this BIG change and come to Seattle. Your future is bright and your future is wide open my friend. . . we support you and are dedicated to your success.
I can't wait for you to step off of that plane! 2008 will be a fantastic year for all of us. . .
JK- I'm so proud of you and I've grown to admire and love you. This is a big change and it's scary. I have faith you'll do what makes you happy. Personally, I can't wait to come visit!!
Johnny,
I love you, too - you are my dearest, bestest little brother ever and I will miss you...but I am excited for your prospects, which makes "cutting the apron stings" a little easier :)
Relocating to Seattle is a brave move to make, as you are daring to imagine and execute a new and better life, of which you are definitely overdue. I hope, with this strategic and exciting move, you will examine your life even more deeply - and then do things even better... If one always does the same things, the same ways, things will always yield the same results, yes...? (Sure, you may ask, once one figures out what works best/better, won't that be doing things the same...? No, as I'm talking about people who are seeking to improve/change their situations, not ones who are already in the know.) Moving to Seattle is a big step toward changing things...!
So, it is not goodbye, as you said, but good luck -- work hard, have fun and remember: you can always come home; Integrity!; treat people as you want to be treated; and never date women without eyebrows.
LOVE to you...
jeannie
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