#*$&&@ Gay

So. the part of my laptop in which my power cord goes into has broken@*##!$$# it fucking sucks because I have a lot of work to do. Oh well, I'll get over it. I'm making a brochure for this custom auto place. They airbrush vehicles, do custom bodies, build stereo systems etc. Sooooo I have to use a different laptop that doesn't belong to me :(.

Anyway, that's stupid shit to complain about. Getting the vehicle is looking more realistic each day, I have work as an insurance adjuster coming up, and the weekend is coming soooon!!! So I can say life is going well, I'm glad I'm here and I'm glad even while here I'm maintaining friendships at home while nurturing new ones as well! I love and miss you everyone!

Seattle for 24 hours now!!

Yep, have been gone for 24 hours. Hasn't sank in yet, this blog will know when it has :). Thanks for a great night everyone. I had a few people in mind that I was supposed to see before I left, yet it turned into a giant high school reunion at the Ironwood! Special thanks to Jeff, Andrew, Vinny, Erin, Z, Shannon and her boy for meeting up with me. Probably the most important friends in my life on a mulitude of levels, great to see ya before I went. Please send me pictures from the evening! And Jeff, get your camera from my sister!!!!

Speaking of my sister, thanks for keeping cool after I fell asleep for 2 hours and subsequently missed my flight :). I wonder if things would have gone so smoothly with my dog had I been on the flight I was originally scheduled for? Food for thought.

Been here for nearly 24 hours. Wii bowling, double Patron margaritas, travel, and sleep have been my experience here thus far. Tomorrow is work though and I'm excited!

Got to see the car I'll be buying a white BMW 325i with white leather. I'm totally impressed, can't wait to put her to use. Leave some love!!

=/

WHOOOAA.. Totally moved away from everything I know on January 26th! Missed my original flight so I had to standby!! (Thanks ERIN!). Regardless I got here, with my DOG! Everyone loved him on the plane. Stewardesses, flight attendents, pilots, janitors. Hell, he laid in the middle of Chicago's O'Hare International Airport getting his belly rubbed!! What a good boy. Ok, enough about my dog, kinda creepy.. I live in Richmond Beach, WA and I welcome everybody to come visit this fantastic city. I will foot some of the bill just to enjoy all my friends company out here. I work at a myriad of places including a commercial window tinting company and a marketing firm. I am in the process of inheriting of BMW 325i with white leather. So.. life is good!

Eternally grateful..

just had a fun night of movies, booze, talks, and someone awesome to hang with.. thanks for making me forget Ms. Erin!

What a fucking waste

This guy had a profound effect on who I am today and was undoubtedly my best friend for some very influential years of my life. We've barely spoken in recent years and only mildly started getting back in contact via myspace. I'm still aghast that he was shot. I'm sickened, upset, and furious by this. I've just learned that this was self imposed, and not someone else's doing... Geez Jeremy, why so soon?


http://www.mydeathspace.com/article/2007/12/28/Jeremy_Keger_(26)_died_suddenly_from_a_gunshot_to_the_head

And you give yourself away...

It's amazing the profound effect music has on the human psyche. Most songs, to me, are easily forgettable and thus disinteresting. But there are a few that just claw themselves deep inside of me and say, "HEY! I know how you're feeling. and this is the musical iteration of your emotions." For example, U2's "With or Without You" blows me away every time. I never get sick of it. I can understand someone not liking the song or the band. But you can't say the song's not progressive, deep, and engulfing. It just makes me want to bawl, I'm such a girl.

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Out..

saw a fantastic movie in Cloverfield this evening. WONDERFUL, only see it in the theater. The sound is that extraordinary!! Went out to eat, had a fun night. Still plenty on my mind, a lot of hurt. A lot of restraint, a lot of hope. We'll see..

Internal Resolution by External Ingenuity

I've come to the realization (with some help), that if the girl I was moving away from had aspirations to be with me in the future, she'd be far kinder than she's being. Instead of pushing me away, she'd have the mindset I do. To work things out, plan, etc. I guess I love her more than she loves me. As the old saying goes, "You can't make someone your priority when you're only their option".

Sooo, with that adage, I'll take a different route

ODDS and ENDS

This day has been odd and it marks an end. Even though the phrase doesn't mean that. Odd in the sense because I've concocted a way to get my dog on an airplane for free. An also an end, for the girlfriend doesn't want to see me (yet she wants to be there when I get to the airport, go figure.)

Soo, after a cancellation at my temp. job, I'm going through my items debating on what I'd need and what I don't need for my life changing move. I'll pack light, yet practical.. we'll seeee

PS: Heather, regardless of what happens, you'll be getting mail this May. The B. Effect

A World of Change

Wow, so much has happened in the past week that it's tough to explain in a chronological order. For starters, me and Heather are no longer dating. Many reasons for this, including trust issues. distance, and independence. I do feel though that either A. She met someone B. She did something negative to our relationship and couldn't continue dating me with what she's done or C. She wants to explore single life and mess around with people. All these parallel the typical experiences a girl has in college, I just thought she was beyond that. Regardless, after 2 days of not talking and a mild argument, we're done. It's sad.. Mostly because I saw lots of potential for us. I feel as if she might view me as "the one she let get away", or maybe not.

She said all these things like,
"I don't want to live in Toledo"
"I wish we would've traveled last summer together"
"I would love to be closer to my sister" (who will be in San Fran, 35 dollar train ride away)

etc.

Well, with me moving to Seattle (explained further down), I wanted to give her these things and I want her to come with me. Maybe in May I'll write her a letter, with a train ticket saying the opportunities here. Maybe I won't. I do appreciate you sticking with me through thick and thin Heather, it's just upsetting that your words don't have substance and our bond wasn't strong enough to endure.
But her priorities are in Podunk, Ohio, and I'll let her have that.

(Insert bad transition statement here), I'm moving to Seattle at the beginning of February. It's really sad actually. For starters I've finally felt a sense of belonging with my family and now I'm pushing it aside. Or maybe that's the entire point of being close to your family, for them to help improve yourself and change the world. Regardless they have. Jeannie for the 1,338,289,995 things you've done for me. The money you've paid, the solace you've brought. Thank you, I love you. Krissie, with your recent emergence, the driver's test, the sweet lunch that afternoon =), and the girls.. thanks for being there for my lowest of lows. Steve, the football camaraderie, the numerous times I've been stuck in a corner of Ohio and you've gotten me, the dishes, the computer. Thanks for letting down your machismo and being cool. ;). I'm still going to whoop your ass in Risk, and even if I'm not in town.. I plan on fully participating in the league next season. How else are you going to win anything?

So, back to Seattle.. after the smoke cleared with Heather I called Mark and Kris with my intentions on working with them. The response they gave me was truly overwhelming. They were nothing less than excited, jubilant, and forthcoming in making sure that I'd be taken care of. I really want to do well for them, nothing less will be acceptable. The date seems to be early February, which will be perfect. It gives me time to seek out my long lost half brother, speak with mom, and tie up some loose ends here.

I don't want anyone to view this as an end with me, I want it viewed as a beginning. I intend on obtaining webcams for each sibling and speaking with them online while away. Jeannie, ya gotta upgrade that dial up, it'd be the same price ;).

All in all my mood is bittersweet (as Jeff puts it). At times I just want to cry at the sudden changes (and I have), other times I'm nervous and ready to embrace the unknown. I just want everyone to know that I love them dearly, and will never, EVER be forgotten

Johnny