Experience? For What It's Worth...

Sooo... I'm writing again.

Why?

Perhaps to fill a narcissitic void I have that only blogs and facebook fulfill?

Nah, social networks are NEVER used for such purposes. ;)

The common precedent that leads to me writing usually revolves around a particularly dramatic moment and/or a nagging, continuous experience that further perpetuates itself the more I look for it.

And yes, that scenario has reared it's head again, yet in a most peculiar form. What I'm referring to is experience, or better yet "life experience". Generally speaking, I find it quite remarkable how much or how little emphasis we as a society put on one's "experience". Furthermore, I find it equally remarkable the relationship between one's age and the relative value we place on an "experienced" human being.

Before I delve further, I guess I should clarify as to what context I'm using the word "experience" in, for it takes many forms and I'm using the term very generally here.

For example, when there's a significant enough age gap between 2 human beings that the older one warns/shares/relates to an experience the younger one is going through. At what age do people typically remove their brain's filter, and attempt to wrap their mind's around an elder's wisdom? 15 years old? 30? Ever? Especially one with whom they respect.

Age isn't always a determining factor when passing along information to another for I consider myself a bit of an old soul, with plenty of stories to tell. I often wonder what people think of what I say and if I ever say anything profound enough to warrant further thought at a later date. And if so, how much weight does it carry and would it carry more if I was older and/or more respected?

There's also job experience.

"Billy may not be college educated, but he ran his own business successfully for 15 years, is he qualified to manage ours?"

The common debate of application (real life) vs. theory (college). How much weight would you put in Billy's experience? Assuming he's a great candidate, with great references and has ran a similarly sized company in the past, would you hire him? I find this to be a common scenario in our current economy. Lifelong business owners with leagues of experience beyond a college graduate, being denied employment based on formal education, or the lack thereof.

I find it disturbing how little many of us take from people who have been on this earth longer. Is this why history repeats itself, seniors are looked down upon, and egos remain at an all time high?

I can certainly say as I've gotten older my mind has blossomed into..... feces.. No I'm kidding..

Basically, my mind is open. When I'm talking to a 50 year old man, I freaking listen. Regardless of his education, career, or background. He's 50, he lived that long, I can learn from him. How? I don't know, but that's not the point. The point is, there is someone speaking to me who theoretically has experienced twice as much as I have in this life, and he warrants my attention.

Inversely though, at the ripe age of 26, I find myself talking to people younger than me, seeking my advice. And I again I wonder, "Did they listen, or just hear me?".

Sometimes I can tell I made my point, other times they think they have everything figured out. From making love, to planning their financial future and no matter what ANYONE else has to say, they got it down. Was I that thick at that age?

.....

Probably.

But it doesn't excuse us as a society of this overglorification of "children", and the undervaluing of "adults", and their experiences.

This is my rant today, "for what it's worth..."

Back Dated Post that I didn't edit :D

December 15th, 2008

Here's to the proof of the pudding...

So, I've finished my 3 days in Pittsburgh and 7 in Cleveland. Currently I'm on the plane from Pittsburgh to Minneapolis to catch a subsequent flight to Seattle. As I'm here cramped in a 34 seat little jet, I wonder what kind of impression I made on my loved ones.

If you follow this at all, you may remember that I wasn't sure as to how I was going to be viewed coming home. I could end this entry and say, "ok everyone.. same ole John? or.. "insert comment here"?

But, this entry will be far too long.

Insert: I don't care how people generally perceive me. Only the people that I respect and love do I care about their views.

So what did I do while I was home? Well, first I would like to apologize to those I missed. I hope you can forgive me, for I had to squeeze a month's worth of people into a week, and it just was hard.

Moving on, I'm actually a bit sad with a splash of satisfied about my visit. I feel that I mended some relationships certainly worth mending, or at the very least, inserted the thread into them. Other people, as previously mentioned, I missed. (sorry again).

Others I brought hope to, and 1 person in particular, in my mind, I had a fantastic, honest, and very forthcoming talk with. I guess I never could see it then, but there is certainly something special about this person, and if she asks me if I'm referring to her, I most certainly will admit it. She's just a grand iteration of some of the very best characteristics I'm looking for in another person. The path to her heart is nowhere near as navigable as it used to be, and it's never good to force an issue such as this one. I will say this though, if in some manner she gave me the time of day again, then I can ensure you readers and you too miss that I will make her a very, very happy woman for a very long time. That's where I'm at with it, and that's how I truly feel about it.

I assisted in throwing my friend of 18 years a bachelor party, with the help of another mended friendship, I hope we gave him something he will never forget. I was also humbled at his wedding by him, the brides maids, the bride's mom.. so there is hope for me! I pretty much remember what I said over the mic in speaking about my married buddy:

"How is everyone doing tonight, are we having a great time? *clapping*. Well, I would just like to thank Andrew and Colin for having me here this evening, it's certainly humbling. And with that, Andrew, has been my friend for the better part of 20 years. And when I say the better part I truly mean it, Andrew's enriched my life in so many ways and hey man, thank you. One thing in particular that comes to mind is when we were kids I'd go over Andrew's house.. oh, all the time. And, ya know he had games and a basketball hoop at his house. Well, for some reason, I thought I could beat him at these things. Everything he owned, that I didn't, I had to bet him. And, I always lost, so, at the very least, I hope that, that contribution helped out the wedding this evening, lol. I'm kidding.. but thanks Andrew, Colin.... Jeff?"

What else happened. Well I got a hold of my dad's old acoustic guitar, ghetto strung it, and wrote a song. This song has been an outlet for me (and my friends and family, I apologize for drilling it down your throat!). Anyway, the song has accomplished numerous things, exhibited numerous emotions, and hell, makes me cry while playing it. But in reality, I would like to dedicate it to one person (Sibling, I know I said otherwise, we'll talk later). I spoke of her earlier in this post and, it never hurts to try :D.

So what else did I do? Did some business, energy films with a long time friend, who confided in me in a few ways that only strengthen our friendship (short time, best friend, just want ya around). Was at the library a lot, Deadwood (truth will set you free), Buddy does seattle, jeannie and my egg crate, me being a puppy, cheeses of the world, missing angie and mom, giving steve his yvengling, teaching my nieces the guitar, playing with Tone till the night I left.. rock on dude.. in this context I, at the very least, can see a nice friendship develop. Hanging with my girls in Pittsburgh, oranges scrapping by my nose while tailgating in BROWNS clothing in Shitsburgh ;). getting completely wasted a few nights, dave and busters, dominating jump rope, confiding in a mended friend, making amends with another friend at the bachelor party, meeting a new friend who is "a joy to the world". I usually don't use names here but Jeannie, you are freaking amazing. Keeping my head on straight, tolerating my puppiness, and helping in a variety of ways. Maybe I've garnered some of your habits, it'd only benefit me if I did, thank you. Sorry for staying at my bud's too long, that certainly wasn't purposeful. Pizzas, orange juice, removing neck ties, preaching on a podium, handing my buddy his marriage rings, flirting with bride's maids, drinking bottles of champagne when no one else was, Thanks Neil and Dave and Buster's, what a stand up guy. Drunken basketball shooting, stupid tvs, Popov!, Oil and wax!, Thursday afternoon grease barn!, a long, long late at night talk followed by a ride in an alien car :D. Thank you Pissman's parents, your amazing! Not you Kayla. Know how cool her parents are? knowing that we were going out, they left foood and drink for us so when we got home we could eat it.. and did we? oh we did. Stealing food! dropping goolash, handing out MGD's to homeless people. Geez, the more I write, the more it feels like I've fit a lifetime into 10 days... peeing on stuff, UV vodka!
Pabst NA.. and chugging it? bad wine..

Thanks everyone, I hope I enriched your lives even somewhat.. for I know you certainly enriched mine. Tomorrow is going to be a long day... but I'm getting by

:D

Braylon Edwards

My personal feelings on this

Hope ya like :D

Fantastic Advice

So, for a while there I've been doing construction. Well, mostly bitch labor...

Tearing down walls, cutting stuff, moving lumber.. etc... bitch work.. but it was fun.

Anyway, I worked alongside this 57 year old man, and somehow we got on the topic of communicating, and asking people for stuff you need. He gave me this advice, which in turn I've applied to the "day-to-day".

"Never in my life has anything turned out better for me, by having kept my mouth shut and not asking".

Now granted, I know there are times in life where you should DEFINITELY KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.

But in most circumstances, whether it's a nervous phone call or if I'm feeling shy asking someone a favor, this advice holds true.

Thanks Steve.

I'm coming home, you may need to re-know me...

So,

I'm coming home... to Cleveland that is.

To be quite honest, I'm nervous...

For I'm pretty sure that my arrival will be regarded with mixed feelings, depending on who's asked, of course.

There are people back home that I have burned. Some of the scenarios I can't do anything about, for those flames will rage onward for eternity. But others, I feel, can be estinguished... I hope.

Part of the reason I moved to Seattle was to gain direction. To give myself substance beyond the charm I've been known to exhibit. To not necessarily be SOMEONE in this world, but to be SOMEONE to someone... if that makes any sense. To right my wrongs, to pay my past due karma... for it seems I've had a negative balance in the karma department for some time. To own up to my faults not merely as verbal admission, but as proactive restitution.


I have consistent work, my own business model and reliable relationships here. These cornerstones are the foundation of who I am today, someone, you all may not know...

For example, I play the guitar now... a pretty superficial aspect of one's self you might say, but to me, it's a means of expression to the loved ones I've wronged (the unloved as well). It's a pervasive, consistent, and expressive apology with every resonating chord and every tear I succumb to throughout it's duration.

I'm also more mindful of how the things I say and do affect others. I'm not suggesting simple forethought either. I contemplate my actions now with the knowledge of a wide spectrum of possible outcomes, potentially wider than what most can perceive. And I'm very much in tune with my state of mind. I firmly believe that the state of my mind is a reflection of the state of my life and thus, the only way to clear my past trespasses, is to clear them from my mind. And as you might guess, I have some work to do, in order to do that. Quite cyclical isn't it?

Since it's nearly time for me to re-enter into my past life, and confront it head on, I wonder... What's waiting for me? And inversely, does my past know what I'm bringing to it?

I'm curious as to who will call me when I'm home.
I'm curious who still thinks about me, and in what context.
I'm curious if there are those who would rather forget I existed.
I'm just fucking curious... It's certainly a vice and a virtue.


I wish I had an answer to all my thoughts... Since I don't, I will approach all facets of my time home with complete humility... In hoping that there's a direct relationship with emptying one's skeletons from their closet, and lessening the burden on the one's soul.

And with that, I submit to the jury of my peers..

Flaky People

Ya know,

To this day I'm astonished at how finicky and flaky people are. I mean, it's staggering at how little it takes for people to change plans, ideas, or even friendships!

Rigid, silly, women... yes women