Out..

saw a fantastic movie in Cloverfield this evening. WONDERFUL, only see it in the theater. The sound is that extraordinary!! Went out to eat, had a fun night. Still plenty on my mind, a lot of hurt. A lot of restraint, a lot of hope. We'll see..

Internal Resolution by External Ingenuity

I've come to the realization (with some help), that if the girl I was moving away from had aspirations to be with me in the future, she'd be far kinder than she's being. Instead of pushing me away, she'd have the mindset I do. To work things out, plan, etc. I guess I love her more than she loves me. As the old saying goes, "You can't make someone your priority when you're only their option".

Sooo, with that adage, I'll take a different route

ODDS and ENDS

This day has been odd and it marks an end. Even though the phrase doesn't mean that. Odd in the sense because I've concocted a way to get my dog on an airplane for free. An also an end, for the girlfriend doesn't want to see me (yet she wants to be there when I get to the airport, go figure.)

Soo, after a cancellation at my temp. job, I'm going through my items debating on what I'd need and what I don't need for my life changing move. I'll pack light, yet practical.. we'll seeee

PS: Heather, regardless of what happens, you'll be getting mail this May. The B. Effect

A World of Change

Wow, so much has happened in the past week that it's tough to explain in a chronological order. For starters, me and Heather are no longer dating. Many reasons for this, including trust issues. distance, and independence. I do feel though that either A. She met someone B. She did something negative to our relationship and couldn't continue dating me with what she's done or C. She wants to explore single life and mess around with people. All these parallel the typical experiences a girl has in college, I just thought she was beyond that. Regardless, after 2 days of not talking and a mild argument, we're done. It's sad.. Mostly because I saw lots of potential for us. I feel as if she might view me as "the one she let get away", or maybe not.

She said all these things like,
"I don't want to live in Toledo"
"I wish we would've traveled last summer together"
"I would love to be closer to my sister" (who will be in San Fran, 35 dollar train ride away)

etc.

Well, with me moving to Seattle (explained further down), I wanted to give her these things and I want her to come with me. Maybe in May I'll write her a letter, with a train ticket saying the opportunities here. Maybe I won't. I do appreciate you sticking with me through thick and thin Heather, it's just upsetting that your words don't have substance and our bond wasn't strong enough to endure.
But her priorities are in Podunk, Ohio, and I'll let her have that.

(Insert bad transition statement here), I'm moving to Seattle at the beginning of February. It's really sad actually. For starters I've finally felt a sense of belonging with my family and now I'm pushing it aside. Or maybe that's the entire point of being close to your family, for them to help improve yourself and change the world. Regardless they have. Jeannie for the 1,338,289,995 things you've done for me. The money you've paid, the solace you've brought. Thank you, I love you. Krissie, with your recent emergence, the driver's test, the sweet lunch that afternoon =), and the girls.. thanks for being there for my lowest of lows. Steve, the football camaraderie, the numerous times I've been stuck in a corner of Ohio and you've gotten me, the dishes, the computer. Thanks for letting down your machismo and being cool. ;). I'm still going to whoop your ass in Risk, and even if I'm not in town.. I plan on fully participating in the league next season. How else are you going to win anything?

So, back to Seattle.. after the smoke cleared with Heather I called Mark and Kris with my intentions on working with them. The response they gave me was truly overwhelming. They were nothing less than excited, jubilant, and forthcoming in making sure that I'd be taken care of. I really want to do well for them, nothing less will be acceptable. The date seems to be early February, which will be perfect. It gives me time to seek out my long lost half brother, speak with mom, and tie up some loose ends here.

I don't want anyone to view this as an end with me, I want it viewed as a beginning. I intend on obtaining webcams for each sibling and speaking with them online while away. Jeannie, ya gotta upgrade that dial up, it'd be the same price ;).

All in all my mood is bittersweet (as Jeff puts it). At times I just want to cry at the sudden changes (and I have), other times I'm nervous and ready to embrace the unknown. I just want everyone to know that I love them dearly, and will never, EVER be forgotten

Johnny

Funeral Time

I had better drink some water tonight, for tomorrow is going to be gut wrenching. My uncle died a couple days ago, which has come as a massive shock to me and my family. A prominent name in the area translates to a wide variety of people who are going to miss him. I'll miss him more for what I didn't know and learn from him than what I did know of him. He was married to the sweetest woman I have ever came across (my aunt), and it's downright sickening to see the pain she's in. Puts more validity into the idea that you should live each day like it's your last...


(cliches ya!)

R.I.P Uncle Chris

http://www.loraincounty.com/northridgeville/discussion.shtml?id=222551&f=12&v=

School!!

Yep school has started.. yesterday was fairly hectic. I get there quite early to find I wrote down the incorrect time to meet my professor :(. So I eat, buy materials, and catch up on my pathology work. Finding out I may be able to avoid buying books all together :). So. I meet him at 5:30 to find he didn't bring all the materials for me, and that he'll call me at midnight. Is it just me, or is it a little odd that my prof. wants to call me at midnight? I didn't mind for I was going to be up. So I finish a few things and start heading home. Jeannie agreed to meet me mid walk to save me from the duldrum of walking. I passed this really nice restaurant that I want to take the lady to, so we'll see. Anyway, Jeannie meets me about 6 miles into the walk, buys some BK and drops me off. I am sooo tired at this point and doze intermittently till my prof calls and gives me all the answers to the test Saturday. I then continue to sleep until 6 because B wants outside. I slam a lean pocket and go back to sleep until 2 or so. When I get up I start homework immediately and find that Jeannie is willing to pick up Buddy's ear medicine on her way home from work. Sooo she drops it off with a bone for B, which he absolutely loves. I can't get it in his ears right away, i'll wait till he sleeps :). I continue doing more homework, updating the other blog, and maintaining contact with this lady from www.alaskanmalamute.org. Basically they need a new webmaster and I might be the guy for the job. Heck it pays and I want to learn more about my dog, even breed them some day. So that's cool. After some TB and a energy drink I'm ready for some homework. Shoot me some love on here! peace